Hear from people who have tried Success By Emotions

This is an Endorsement from a friend who played basketball for and graduated from a major University.

 

A few weeks ago, Bob Raybould extended a small challenge to me. Early in our friendship, Bob Raybould described a book he was writing on a theory of the mind. I’ve always enjoyed discussing his theory with him, because certain aspects of it correspond to certain “discoveries” I’ve made in my own life over the years. Since I was a teenager, I have practiced positive thinking and visualization. While these techniques helped me find success and happiness in life, my conversations with Brother Raybould clarify areas where my beliefs about myself and my goals could be further refined. 

 

On February 6, Bob Raybould extended a small suggestion to me: that I pick a small goal to begin experimenting with his theory. Then, he laid out a very simple process, which I will describe here. He suggested I write down my goal, then write down 3-4 emotions I would feel when I achieved my goal, and lastly write down 2-3 benefits of achieving my goal. He instructed me to reference these lists throughout the day, first reading the goal, then reading the positive emotions, then reading the benefits, before reading the emotions and benefits again one last time. The instructions were clear and simple to implement, plus I had a couple small goals that I was struggling to reach.

 

The goal that has deepened my understanding of BR’s tool the most was the desire to make 10 consecutive free throws on the basketball court. This is something I did so regularly as a young person, I hardly thought much of it at the time. However, as I now play basketball less often it is something I rarely accomplish anymore. A free throw is a very simple shot — you are stationary (as opposed to moving quickly), you are lined up perfectly straight just 15 feet from the basket, and there is no defender to rush you or alter your shot. However, all these factors can actually lead even the most experienced professionals to “overthink” their shot. Historically, even the greatest shooters will make this shot about 90% of the time, while even good shooters by professional standards might make this shot just 70-80% of the time in games. The poorest shooters will make it less than 50% (worse than a coin toss). 

 

I could not remember the last time I made 10 free throws in a row, even though I tried most of the times that I went to the gym. It was not because of lack of ability, but there was some “mental block” preventing me from achieving the delicate balance of focus and relaxation sometimes called “flow state.” I thought this would be perfect for testing BR’s theory.

 

Within a couple days of doing the exercise he prescribed, I no longer needed the notes BR had instructed me to write down. I could simply access the emotions in my mind and allow them to permeate my body. Previously, during my shooting practice I would visualize the ball going through the net — this was a habit I had developed as a teenager. Only through working with BR’s “tool” did I realize that this technique was incomplete. I could imagine the outcome of a successful free throw attempt—the ball cleanly falling through the net—but still have the emotional experience (anxiety) of missing a shot. In this way, the image I visualized was in conflict with the emotions I hoped to achieve, and BR’s tool clarified this discordance for me. In fact, I realized that visualizing the ball going through the rim was actually less important than experiencing the satisfaction and joy that this outcome provides me. 

 

BR had told me many times that the key to his tool was actually experiencing the emotions of achieving your goal in a visceral way, but I had not thought to replace other aspects of my visualization with simply experiencing emotions. As far as listing the benefits of accomplishing my goal, I believe this had a clarifying effect in the mind. It forced me to think more about why I desired a certain outcome, which served to further convince me of its personal importance, and it also helped me contextualize my goal as an intermediate step in a larger journey as an athlete. This helped reconcile a dichotomy that relates to our goals: we are trying to accomplish something that challenges us now, but will seem very simple to the future version of ourselves. (And in this particular case, it was previously easy to a past version of myself.)

 

On Feb 14, a week after beginning BR’s exercise, I successfully made 10 free throws in a row with seemingly little difficulty. I could not remember how many years it had been since I did this and it felt like an enormous triumph — not over some vaunted opponent, but over my own biased, counterproductive thinking. When I did it again on Feb 18, it felt so casual that I hardly thought about it. By this point, my mind no longer treated it as some insurmountable task, but as an inevitable outcome. The anxiety and mental chatter I previously experienced — especially after making 7, 8 or 9 shots in a row — had mostly dissipated. Success, as they say, became a habit for me in this small regard. This entire experience has helped further clarify the power of the mind, and led me to wonder… what other tricks is my mind playing on me?

 

I have had the pleasure of knowing Bob Raybould for more than 20 years.  Bob has been an important mentor in my life both personally and in business.  I feel fortunate that Bob has shared with me his progress regarding the power of positive thinking over the last 20 years.  I have benefited from his advice.  

Last week, Bob asked me to follow very specific directions to put his Happiness by Gratitude concept to the test.  This task required me to title a sheet of paper “HBG Sheet”, then write a single objective and a completion date of a goal that I was confident that I have the natural ability to accomplish and could achieve within a few weeks.  He asked that I list on the same page several emotions that I would feel once I achieved this goal and benefits I would realize with my success.

My first thought regarding this task was simple; I certainly don’t need to write this goal down on paper!  This is a goal that I think about every minute of every day of my life!  Why write it on paper!  I was happy however, to do this for Bob, as he is a dear friend and mentor.

I pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write my goal.  I was amazed at the emotion I felt as I did this!  Writing my goal with ink and paper took my goal to a whole new level emotionally!  I then listed a few emotions that I would feel when this goal is complete.  WOW!  I had never felt these emotions like I did when I committed them to writing!  I felt these emotions as if my goal were already accomplished!  Finally, I listed the benefits I would realize with my success.  

Although this entire experience lasted only a few minutes, it was profound and touched me to my core!  The difference?  Committing this simple goal to writing made it absolutely real to me!  Committing my emotions to writing allowed me to feel these emotions as if I had already accomplished my goal!  

I NEVER would have guessed that using pen and paper would make such an enormous difference.  I look forward to repeating this valuable exercise with more important and longer-term goals.  Thank you Bob!